Life is a hot mess sometimes.
Just when you think 'I can do this on my own,' things change. Or your mind clicks into the realization that is, we aren't meant to do things by ourselves.
I love my wife. But sometimes I forget how selfish I am.
It's a problem I've had for a long time. I'm more concerned about my wants and needs.
And I'm only really concerned with others if I have the time or desire to (which is never the case, unless you go out of your way to make the time, and to desire on your own to go out of your way.)
In a sense, that's what love is. It's not being happy with someone, or how that person makes you feel/doesn't make you feel.
It's the sacrifice you make for them.
Love in a sense is purposefully inconveniencing yourself for someone whether they will or will not do the same for you.
My father was a police chaplain for the Highland PD back in the 80s/90s. I'll never forget growing up, in my dad's library in the basement, there was a little section of VHS tapes and books that were titled like this "Rock & Roll and Satanism." Right about the time where bands like Metallica were at their prime. Also nestled in that stash was a copy of Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible.
Now as weird as this sounds, I remember picking it up once every few years and reading a paragraph. It's total Bull, all of it.
But the underlining is the same on every page:
"Only love people that deserve your love."
In a sense, the opposite of the Christian message:
"Love the un-deserving, no matter what, just like Christ did for us."
Ephesians 4:32 says it better than I can.
This post was nothing more than a request for you to pray for me that I would be better at showing my love to others. Especially my family. I love them so much, and I have a terrible way of showing it.
Owen
p.s. I need a vacation. Like, a REAL vacation.
